Weblog

Sunday, 13 June 2010

  • Privacy

    The reason why I rejected a lot of friends requests from Xangans is I don't really believe in online friendship, unless I've met or I dealt with most of my online friends in real life. I accepted a few because I want to see their input on things that matters to me. I choose my friends not because I am fussy, but because I can get tired of people. I need my alone time. My weblog is my private sanctuary, and private does actually means 'private'. I don't want to be a public figure here.

Saturday, 15 May 2010

  • Need to get away....

    I will be on the road for several weeks, doing work and other stuffs that are really important to me.... so I won't be updating or be around much.

    Take care, all.

Friday, 07 May 2010

Sunday, 02 May 2010

  • Old Woman

    Some unhappy old woman shouted at me as I rode my bike past, "Eh, ça c'est interdit ici!" or "Oi, that's not allowed here!" because there's a bike lane in the road. I gave her plenty of room, was aware and in control of my bicycle. Unfortunately for her, I don't want to be hit by a car when that bike lane unexpectedly ends. I'd rather brave the crone-y terrors of the sidewalk. Old woman, you can go fuck yourself. Yep. Go do it. It'd be a better use of your horrible little voice and beady eyes.

Thursday, 29 April 2010

  • Lifeless as love

    When I see green, it seems to always look back at me. More so than I have ever seen it. The blades, the yellow dots, that gleam which seems more like laser beams. I marvel at nature, it doesn't marvel at me. It seems that I am it's reflection, of expectations it will never see. It's a funny thing; to die by nature. I have never lived by it though. That's about the saddest thing in the world. Sad, but it makes me curious. Do things like this ever go on? Will I ever see it again? Probably not.

    It's not the walking pair, that I'm afraid of. Or the suspect lenses. It's my own confusion, caught up against me. We don't ever want to accept, what's so easy to deny. In the world of snapping mouths with traps, I am the fly. I never rhyme, because I care to rhyme. Sometimes it's just the best way to put this line. Sometimes I wade through, like a balloon. No gas. No last laughs. Just me shriveling up, to the end of the line.

    When I was a little boy, I don't even remember being a little boy. I was so full, so generous, so devious, so much like the Earth. And now I am really on Earth, and it's actually a curse. Pain is nothing like you see in the movies, or read about in books. There's no way to explain it. No good lines, no good hooks. Just a long buzz of nets. You'll be caught, soon. very soon.

    I went out of my way for it; and the way went out for me. We clashed with idealistic intentions, thoughts for children only, you see. I don't think I will ever see a light curve. I'd rather not remember. I'd rather not go back. By the way, there is nothing to see. Nothing that's anything close to me. Not a single drop of memory.

Monday, 26 April 2010

Sunday, 25 April 2010

  • Toxic

    Okay, seriously, I now know ANOTHER girl in an abusive relationship. That's four now, what the fuck.

    Not to mention, I think I saw a woman hitting her kid (hardly older than a toddler) at the post office yesterday.

    *sigh*

    What are the statistics to abusive relationships? Or is this a worldwide thing? Because seriously, I don't need chicks being idiots and saying "He doesn't mean it", "I can help him", and "He loves me" about their abusive jack-asses of a boyfriend/husband to add to the reasons society is acting stupid lately.

    Excuse me for being hateful and bitter, but REALLY, people. If a guy slaps you once or verbally abuses you daily, then YES, it's most likely him and you should dump him right then and there, but twice? Or MORE? Way more? That's not just his fault anymore.

    Why is this so hard for girls to understand? You aren't being forgiving, you're being masochists and I'm sorry, but I just can't pity you any longer.

Saturday, 24 April 2010

  • American Film Industry, I'm Ashamed

    I really don't understand why the film industry in America wants to make money so badly that they'll ruin a classic like Death at a Funeral by putting out an Americanized remake. Seriously, sometimes I wonder if they have any dignity... what's the point of having a ton of money if your reputation is shot?

    It makes me moan even to see a poster of it up in theaters. And to think that someday, it's very well possible that I'll be working on one of these films simply to pay my rent and buy my groceries... yeah, not getting into that rant today.

Monday, 12 April 2010

  • I Tried

    ..... soooo hard to have a good day. I tried so hard not to let the stupidity of the general public irritate and frustrate me to the end of my wits.

    I was doing pretty well until it got so disgustingly busy at work that I started using excessive force on everything I used, akin to how one presses the buttons on a remote harder if the remote signal isn't commuting. Instead of everything doing what it should have, the whipped cream canister exploded all over my hand, I got soy milk in my hair, and then I got steamed, boiling hot milk in my eye.

    After that point, I'm pretty sure my day was ruined. I did however achieve my goal of not being rude to anyone today, even if I felt like they deserved it.

    My eyes are incredibly close to shutting permanently against my will, so I think I will have a glass of wine and call it a day. Maybe I'll wake up in time for the sunrise since I haven't done so in a very long time.

Tuesday, 06 April 2010

  • Actors and Clients vs. Acting Clients







    It is so. Incredibly. Difficult. To work with an actor who is also your client.

    As a video production company, working corporately in the film field, you’re hired by your clients to film them. To light the set, to provide the set, to provide the camera, to provide the lens. You direct the camera and you direct the audio. You do not direct the clients.

    The clients provide the actors. Often, the clients ARE your actors. A doctor will hire you to film him for an introduction. A CEO will hire you to film him for an announcement. They give you the script. They stand in front of the camera.

    And from then on, your lips must be sealed. Unless you’re requesting the change of a light or asking if anyone needs a bottle of water, you are Silent Bob.

    Today we did a shoot for a car dealership phone line. Our clients were three car dealership managers. One of them was the actor/presenter. There was no blocking. There was no script. We did what they wanted us to do and they played it by ear… for eight hours. That was one ten-minute announcement. And there were car dealership employees.

    There were so many moments I wanted to stop them. So many moments I wanted to tell them, “Whoa. You’re over-thinking this. Take a breath, let’s improv once.” There were those moments I wanted to snap at them that they were getting rattled for no reason, that they should stop arguing over a word none of the audience will understand anyway, that they needed to take a break. “Way too wordy, guys.” “Do you really think people watching a commercial for a phone line will know what a “core F and I product” is?” “Enunciation, folks. E-nun-ci-a-tion." (Ironically enough, there's an example of this in the fact I thought they were saying "FNI" for half the shoot and just realized they were saying "and". Texans really need to work on their accent.)

    There was a control room and there was the set. Everyone was assigned to the control room- audio, video, programming, troubleshooting- I was placed on the set “to relate commands through the intercom system”.

    I have never known true patience until now.

Sunday, 28 March 2010

  • Stories

    I wish people would tell more stories. Interesting things seems to happen less and less to people. The thing is you have to throw yourself out there in the pool of chance. Brave the elements of modern reality. Another thing is no one knows they're potential characters. We are all potential characters in some one's future drunken epic. There's nothing better than when that person tells that story at some party and all the people seem to form a big circle. People like stories. The laughs and gasps are all timed. We're tuned in to the flow. Just something we know how to do.

    We're suckers for a good story. Before television and internet men and women would sit down and tell their stories. Each person consciously aware of their role in another person's tale, and acting accordingly so as to give him or her something to tell later. That is a beautiful thing we have lost. Old people are always so charming. It's not the age. Or the years. The accumulation of experience, or the personal charisma... it's the nature of the time they came from. They carry it with them still. Showing us it's superiority. In time all things change. The music of the moments is no longer ukuleles and violins. It is beat machines and amplifiers. They think we've advanced.

    We wish we could have been alive when they understood what it was like to be without all this. Sure the time must have seemed achingly slow. But we would have enjoyed that ache. This ache is faster. Give me notes that go on forever. I'll take those over these that seem to end before they begin. The wind is so violent. We used to use it to cool us. Maybe one day that is something we can reincarnate. Like the slug bug, or the GTO. Unlike others I believe there to be a mystery and a beauty to all those aching hours spent. And the ultimate harmony of the hearts and the minds when a good story came along.

Saturday, 27 March 2010

X_Man

  • Visit X_Man's Mancouch Site
    • Name: Damien
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 12/31/2009

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